I got married a little over 10 years ago, and everyone was “marrying their best friend.” It became such a clichè. Then another popular thing you would hear is “men are scum” and with all the #couplegoals, it used to leave me wondering, who was then married to the scums?
Here I am, after all these years later, still wondering the same thing. Everyone is still married to/marrying their best friends and men are still scum.
Is the problem our expectations?
Are we honest with ourselves?
Are we deluded?
Do we need to have/create a certain picture?
Are we suffering in silence?
Are we saying what has been fed to us because everyone is saying it?
Do we even know what it means?
I don’t know about marrying my best friend but a few days ago we had an issue…
You see, I don’t like what I do not like.
He has a habit I do not like and we have gone back and forth on it a lot. We have tried to tweak it so all our needs are met but this particular day, he did it and it hit me so bad, I said, “Haba, I have complained everyday for 10 years and you keep doing the same thing, help me understand, do you think I am faking it or do you just expect me to get over it?” His response shook me.
He said, “no now but you haven’t complained in the last two weeks because I made an effort.”
….that only led me to more unanswered questions…
“Is that why you did it, you just needed me to complain again?”
“Is it how you get me notice you?”
“Is 2 weeks your limit for my sanity?”
Again, extreme sport! I tell you!
So we have been meaning to do this for a while and here we are by the will of Allah.
We want to have a conversation with a small group of people, preferably couples or those about to get married. Go ahead and register to be on the waitlist. The goal is to talk about how these differences do not have to break us but allow us to truly make space and build a stronger team.
Again, join the waitlist and all details will be emailed out In sha’a Allah
And we do want to talk about some of these issues via podcasts and blog posts. Feel free to drop your questions or suggestions in the comments.