It doesn’t mean only one thing. It can be a lot of things. The loss of a loved one. The loss of a life that we planned in our head. The end of a marriage. The end of a friendship. The end of a relationship. Moving on from one season to the next. The miscarriage. The negative pregnancy test after that hopeful slight positive result. A move. Moving on.
And not to forget the changes, growth, stops and pauses that come with any of these.
The opportunities we lost because we chose to love and support a loved one.
The life we thought we will have
The memories we thought we will make
And sometimes you may feel so angry because the world seems to be moving on just fine….
No one can tell that as you pushed the trolley in the supermarket, there was a contraction and a loss of what would have been a baby. Your baby.
Somedays it is easy for you to identify what you are feeling, you are in your room with the windows covered just sitting in the darkness and somedays, you get through your day with love and laugher and then all of a sudden, as you lay on your bed, you feel a tightness in your chest and you seek the mercy of tears and it just doesn’t come.
Then there is people telling you how strong you are but you can barely lift the blankets off and start your day.
Grief is for loss. It is your loss whatever that means for you. And it is valid.
(ٱلَّذِینَ إِذَاۤ أَصَـٰبَتۡهُم مُّصِیبَةࣱ قَالُوۤا۟ إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّاۤ إِلَیۡهِ رَ ٰجِعُونَ)
[Surah Al-Baqarah 156]
those who say, when afflicted with a calamity, ‘We belong to God and to Him we shall return.’