For when you say “I can’t “…

For when you say “I can’t “…

Did you say you can’t?⁣

It is so easy to think or say “I can’t….”⁣

Over and over again, we tell ourselves so many things without realizing it. ⁣

I can’t wake up early for Fajr⁣
I can’t cook a meal⁣
I can’t help my child with their homework⁣
I can’t afford to pay for “the full cup” or whatever program on your list


And sometimes you even have a reason added so it would sound like…⁣

I really want to join #FajrClub but I can’t because I am not a morning person.⁣

Most of the time, the truth isn’t that you can’t, it is that you won’t. ⁣

I won’t wake up early for Fajr⁣
I won’t cook a meal right now⁣
I won’t help my child with their homework⁣
I won’t afford to pay for the full cup⁣

I really want to join Fajr Club but I won’t because I am not a morning person.


The thing is when we say we “can’t” do something, we sound like we are a victim and it is comfortable but when we say we won’t then it shows our choice in the matter. ⁣

And this is not to say that there are not things that we actually cannot do. I mean maybe you genuinely can’t afford something at the moment…⁣

But until you start to take note of this difference, you would not know. And your brain will believe whatever you tell it. ⁣

So when you find yourself saying you can’t do something, change “can’t” to “won’t” and see if it still holds true.⁣

And don’t think it makes you lazy, it just makes you honest and most days, honesty is the cheapest thing you can afford. ⁣

5 Ways to Find Time to Read – The Reluctant Reader Series

5 Ways to Find Time to Read – The Reluctant Reader Series

Success! Growth! Transformation!

These are words we hear a lot these days and there are a lot of things you can do to achieve them. Whether it is in your life, career, spirituality, business, relationships, there is so much you can do like get a coach, or take a course or join a membership or get a mentor but none is as easy as picking up a book and reading it. And books are such a fun way to escape. We should read more.

Not everyone loves reading and there are so many reasons why people do not read.

The commonest is that there is no time. You really do not need to focus for a long stretch. All the short bursts really do add up.

Another reason is people feel they need to finish every book they start (I used to think so too). You don’t. If it doesn’t do it for you, then dump it and find the one your soul needs. If the book is too intense for you and you need to peek at the end, go ahead. It is not a race.

Reading helps us improve our focus. Have you noticed that you hardly read long captions completely? But we can spend a good number of hours just scrolling through photos on Instagram. It is time, we put aside our phones and pick up books instead.

Concentration. and focus are like muscles, if you don’t use them regularly, it will be too weak for when you actually need them.

So you have work or school or you are an entrepreneur working 24/7 trying to make six or seven figures, where do you find the time to read? That is what this post is about.

  • Wake up a few minutes earlier

Waking up a few minutes earlier automatically gives you more time in your day. Yeah! It has so much barakah!  This only works if you get up immediately. Don’t lie in bed scrolling for hours on end. Say your prayers, recite the Qur’an, plan your day if you are a morning planner, or journal if you need to clear your head and then pick up a book and read.

  • While you eat

When we eat, you will naturally seek out entertainment – whether it is scrolling your phone or watching something on the T.V or chatting a way with colleagues at work. If you can find a quiet place, then go ahead and read instead.

  • While you wait

There are pockets of time during the day when you are on your way to work or  a meeting (If you are driving an audiobook will serve). Or while you wait for your meal at a restaurant especially if you are alone or while you wait for the bus or your ride or while you wait for your appointment (maybe you got to your appointment early). Always have a book with you for when the opportunity comes.

  • Make reading a treat

So you had a long list of things to do and by Allah’s mercy, you did all of it. What next? You deserve a treat. Make reading your treat. This is more effective for those who love to read. For the reluctant reader, choose a treat for when you meet your daily or weekly reading goals.

  • Wrap up the day

You are in bed and you aren’t yet asleep, you pick your phone and keep scrolling until your phone hits your face because you slept off. Not again?

Let’s do better. Try to leave your phone on the bedside shelf then pick a book instead. The sleep will come easier. Plus, screens are more detrimental to your health.

Knowledge is powerful but we can only unlock its power by actively seeking it and then translating it to action. In short, we all need to dedicate ourselves to a life of learning.

Learning never ends and reading doesn’t have to either. You can use Goodreads to track your progress. After all, what is measured is improved. So go ahead, and start. Start small, measure and celebrate your strides.

If you haven’t yet, Join us in choosing books not drugs by supporting the “books not drugs” campaign.

Now tell me, what book do you want everyone you know to read at least once in their life?

13 Time Maximizing Tips for First Time Parents

13 Time Maximizing Tips for First Time Parents

You know your life will change when you become a parent for the first time. Along with the love and joy comes a lot of new responsibilities and demands. To take care of your growing family, it is important to manage your time effectively.

It’s easy to wind up feeling overwhelmed unless you can design a system that works for you.

Start by taking a look at these suggestions that have helped other parents who were once in your shoes.

Maximizing Your Time:

  1. Assess your routine. Figure out how you’re currently spending your time. How many hours do you spend watching TV or browsing online? Are there some tasks you can remove from your to-do list?

  2. Set priorities. Focus on your most important responsibilities. Your family’s health and happiness matter more than keeping up with the laundry.

  3. Plan ahead. If possible, start strategizing even before your baby is born. Research your options for things like diaper service and daycare.

  4. Budget extra time. Expect that many activities will take longer than they used to. If you’re running errands with your baby, you’ll need to bring along extra supplies, and you may need to stop for bathroom and feeding breaks.

  5. Coordinate your tasks. Being organized will help you stay on track. Deal with your essential errands first just in case you run out of time. Consider using delivery services for a while.

  6. Ask for help. Let others know how they can support you. Your family and friends may be happy to babysit or take over some chores. Contact local companies to hire a baby nurse or a house cleaner.

  7. Use technology. Online shopping and time-saving apps can help you cut down on your workload. Ask other new and experienced parents about their favourite discoveries.

Dealing with Common Obstacles:

  1. Catch up on sleep. Sleep deprivation is one of the toughest challenges when you have a new baby, but you need your rest to function well. Most babies can sleep through the night starting at about 3 months, especially if you develop soothing bedtime rituals. Until then, you and your partner might be able to alternate taking charge some nights so you each get some rest. Naps help too.

  2. Eat a balanced diet. Sound nutrition will also make you more productive. Be sure to eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, and healthy fats. Cook food in batches for quick meals, and keep your pantry stocked with your favourite staples.

  3. Exercise regularly. How can you squeeze in a workout? Maybe you can do yoga for a few minutes at a time instead of your usual full session. Maybe you can find a quiet half hour at the start or end of your day.

  4. Evaluate the source. Being picky about who you go to for advice can save you time and frustration. Focus on those you can trust like your paediatrician or government and university websites.

  5. Clear away clutter. Onesies, stuffed animals, and other baby gear are so cute that you may be tempted to go overboard. However, too many items create more work, so stick to having just what you really need.

  6. Reduce stress. It’s difficult to use your time well when you’re tired or tense. Find relaxation practices that work for you, such as meditation or deep breathing. You can also call a friend or join a parent support group.

Having your first child is a major milestone in your life. Knowing how to maximize your time will help you to remain balanced and navigate the transition. That way, you can take care of your own needs and ensure that your baby feels safe and loved.

And you can download the maximizing time checklist for free just click on the photo below

checklist for new mama

And let me know how useful it is for you…

It has been a while

It has been a while

I have not put up a post here in a very long time and a lot has happened. Hopefully, I will help you catch up with the recent happenings. One of which is that I am now a mama. Alhamdulillah! Allah blessed me with two beautiful babies in September 2019. I do have a lot to share as regards pregnancy and anxiety and mommyhood.

I struggle with talking about myself. You have no idea.⁣

A few days ago, I was sitting in class while we were on break when my friend Jam Jam came over to chat and asked about the twins. I was telling her a very funny story and this woman turns in shock. “You have twins? Do you have other children? Do you have a job? And you can show up every day of class?” ⁣

And she told the person next to her who told the next person and…

Then she turned to me and says, “Wow you are a superwoman.”⁣

At this point, I am feeling “Kuku keeee me” and my darling Jam Jam has turned full-blown cheerleader talking about all my extra-curricular activities. And these women cheering me on where old women, who probably had grandchildren of their own.⁣

The class was over and the woman said again, “You are a superwoman.” ⁣

I am obviously not, but it felt good to hear.⁣

May Allah make me better. Amin.

As I drove home from class, I was thinking of the importance of the stories we tell ourselves.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I would sometimes sit down and start imagining stories of people I come across in my daily life. That man jogging is getting back in shape because he found love again. That woman who just faked a smile at her kid is so afraid the judge would rule in favour of her abusive husband and her kid would be taken away from her. I mean, depends on the day and my mood, to be honest, but I try to imagine the best for people…🙂⁣⁣
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We put so much pressure on ourselves. I mean! Being a mom isn’t easy. No one tells you how much you would want to be better. You even drive more carefully because your first thought is, “if something happens to me who would breastfeed my baby🙃” and that has you behaving yourself and that should have you believing in yourself.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
You want to do better and you pray that your child(ren) is(are) even better. “𝐘𝐚 𝐑𝐚𝐛𝐛! 𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐫. 𝐀𝐦𝐢𝐧.”⁣⁣
⁣⁣
It begs the questions…⁣⁣
⁣⁣
𝗪𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮?⁣⁣
⁣⁣
𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦? 🙂

And now, let me share the funny story that started all of this.⁣..

So, we all have been dealing with separation anxiety in our own way since mama resumed work. And no matter how we fall asleep – who starts off in the crib or bed, we all wake up on the bed.⁣

And well as soon as I am up, they both wake up.⁣

That beautiful morning, I woke up and creeped out of bed without making a sound. And then I turned to see that they didn’t budge and with a smile on my face I was about to creep into the bathroom and…🤫 ⁣
I fell.⁣

Very.Loudly.⁣

😂😂😂⁣

And guess who woke up?⁣

Yup! Both of them.⁣

Babies 2 – Mama 0

And now, I am going to leave you to ponder these two questions…

𝗪𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮?⁣⁣
⁣⁣
𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦?

You deserve the kindness and love you so easily give.