It has been exactly 12 months since I announced my idea for women of tadabbur to the world. I don’t even know where the idea came from, oh actually I do know. Alhamdulillah. I also remember thinking it was a bad time to start cos I was also starting Arabic full time and then I had my day job and the agents and my family…and…and… I put it out anyway and then one person signed up and then the second and then… and then it morphed into a beautiful community of amazing and supportive women. And even more communities have been born of that. The doubts come in sometimes but I have learnt so much. SubhanAllah! To mention a few,
Taking a leap of faith means doesn’t mean you trust yourself, it means you trust Allah ﷻ
Take the first step even if you do not see the whole staircase.
The power of one. Allah ﷻ has always sent me that one sign, maybe a person that will just say something that I didn’t even know that I needed to hear. “Aisha! it is one at a time, one sign, one person, one feeling, one idea, one theme, one moment of gratitude, one community, one foot in front of the other and that is how we change the world.” Please say a du’a for all of these special ladies – all of them – new and old, present and those who had to take their leave. I pray that Allah ﷻ fixes all our hearts. He is indeed Al-Jabbar.
I remember a few years ago, Abu Agents was attending a training in Lagos (this was pre-agents) when he called me with a huge warm apology and I was surprised because there was no current issue but he promised to explain later.
It turns out they took a personality assessment and a total stranger (the facilitator) told him everything his wife had been telling him about him (sans the nagging but I mean). And that was the beginning of it…
He would read so much about the human beings and their psychology and then he eventually found DISC. He got certified and then I took an assessment. I couldn’t believe how a bunch of random questions could tell so much about me.
I felt like it wasn’t a level playing ground because I knew him but I didn’t “get” him, and I could see that he was starting to get me. I mean, I know how he acts but I didn’t know why… so we had a conversation with both our reports. I was intrigued.
One day, he said to me, “you will be a better DISC coach than I am.” I laughed because I wasn’t even interested in being a coach. Let’s just say the rest is history…
There is a comfort in getting to understand you. Would you like to here more about this? Sign up for the Basis of Relationship [Early bird for a few hours+ a gift]
So last week, I had just served my toddlers some pap. Where my daughter sat with hers (which is strange), her twin was uninterested. She finished her meal and came to hand me the cup but she kicked his cup which was on the floor as she brought hers. I saw when it fell and I felt sad, maybe even some anger.
It had been a long week. Abu Agents had been away for work, I was ill and there was no nanny.
Anyways, I took a deep breath as she handed me her cup and spoon and I said “thank you”. She turned round to go back and as soon as she saw the cup with the pap spilled, She exclaimed, “Oh!Oh!!” something we say when we make a mistake and she went over to try to scoop it back into the cup.
I felt ashamed. Ashamed that my first feeling was sad+/-anger over an honest mistake.
I went and we cleaned it up together. And I gave her a big hug.
I was not in a good place and I wasn’t thinking the best of my toddler. Toddlers make it hard tbh…
It helps to create a pause between the trigger and the reaction.
A reminder for me to press pause between the trigger and the reaction.
When man is visited by a trouble, he prays to Us, but when, after that, We favor him with some blessing from Us, he says, “This is given to me because of (my) knowledge.” No, but this is a trial, yet most of them do not know.
One of my teachers once gave us an advice, he said, don’t forget to engage with the Qur’an in a language that you are comfortable with every once in a while.
As students of Arabic you can get so stuck with the grammar you forget to connect.
I was reading this ayah this morning and as I attempted to translate it on my own, I remembered an ayah which a sister refers to regularly….
And when you face a hardship at sea, vanished are those whom you used to invoke, except Him (Allah). Then, once He brings you safe to the land, you turn away (from Him); man is so ungrateful.
So many times we want something, that one that completes us, the job of our dreams, the school we want to get into or a cure for our disease or we are in deep trouble and we turn to Allah ﷻ but what happens when the ease comes? Or our duas get answered?
What happens then?
I need to look closely into my day to see what happens.
I woke up this morning and my day felt slightly different.
For the past 10 weeks, three times a week, I got to stay up after Fajr to reflect on the Qur’an with a blessed community of sisters.
And it is true!
The promise of a blessing in the morning.
We all do this while most are prepping for work some are prepping their kids for school, some are prepping for school, some are in the hospital, some are struggling with sleep and it is so amazing how the Qur’an touches everyone. It meets us where we are at. There is something for everyone in the Qur’an. There is something for YOU.
SubhanAllah! It can only be from Allah ﷻ.
This morning was different, without the quick du’as of no interruptions due to network issues or the authenticity of sisters sharing their struggles or even the banter of the team at Yaqeen institute’s Qur’an 30 for 30.
So many times, Ramadan comes and we seek to reconnect with the Qur’an but what if we can find a way to stay connected with the Qur’an all year round. Then the added blessing of a group of like minded sisters.
Sign me up!
You know what gets me the most is sometimes a sister is sharing and it feels totally random and she even says, “does that even make sense?” And to another sister, it is exactly what she needed to hear.
I am praying that Allah ﷻ grants us ease and keeps our intentions pure and continues to use us all in a way that is pleasing to Him and benefits the Ummah.
We are starting a new series focused on Juz Amma. And you can join here In Sha’a Allah.
I struggled finding sleep last night. I decided it was because I was wearing only a night shirt and so finally got up at 1am to wear trousers. This happens regularly to me but mostly on Fridays. I didn’t understand why I struggled on this Saturday night.
Abu Agents (lit. Father of Agents aka My husband) travelled most of the week and had just returned yesterday. I did’nt struggle as much when he was away, shouldn’t his presence bring a feeling of ease. Why wasn’t this the case?
To be honest, since we were awakened at 2am when a group of strange men came into our house and threatened us and stole from us, it gave the word ‘peace’ and ‘security’ a whole new meaning. It also made me realize blessings that I take for granted.
Innocence and even ignorance – I mean, we hear that the world is a dangerous place but you do not know what that means per say, you are almost ignorant until you learn.
Ignorance they say, is bliss!
When you think about the words peace and safety, what do they mean to you?
Indeed, this life is a journey from Allah ﷻ (As-salam) through Sabil as Salam (Islam) to Dar-us-Salam (Jannah)
…truly it is in the remembrance of God that hearts find peace [Qur’an 13:28]
From Nana’s Journal| August 1st 2021
I pray that you find peace in your life. I pray that Allah ﷻ surround’s you with His Sakinah (tranquility). Amin!
P.s – If you want to stand for something cos you are tired of falling for everything. Let’s start working on your values here.